fragile.

Yesterday was a bit rough for me.  Do you ever have one of those days where it's like a little storm cloud is following you around, dampening your spirits? Yeah, that was me. But in a really bad way.

I already had a lot on my mind, and as the day wore on, I had a lot more piled on. April has always been a rough month for me. It's the month that claimed the lives of my aunt, grandmother and a dear friend. Not all in the same year, mind you. But still... April is a pensive month for me.

Yesterday just turned into one of those days where I felt like I was barely holding on. My nerves were rubbed so raw, and I felt incredibly fragile. One of those days where I wished I was a kid again so my mom or dad could tuck me away safely, kiss me on the top of the head, and chase the "baddies" away.

But I'm an adult now, and I get to carry myself through the pain. I've learned the depth of my strength in the past few years. But sometimes it just gets tiring.

My heart has been heavy for a while with a personal situation of mine. And yesterday's gloom drew me to even darker places of contemplation. 

From taking care of a family member in need to witnessing an overturned SUV on the freeway (which sparked even more memories of my friend's death), I was an emotional mess by the time I finally made it home.

Then a call from my mother started to turn things around. Sounding relieved, she thanked me for my help. And just like that, my pain and exhaustion were gone. Because when all is said and done, it is nice to feel needed, and even better to know that you are loved and appreciated.

A litle while later, Tony showed up on the doorstep, with a gift in hand. Why? Because he had seen it the other day in the store, and he had thought of me. He had bought me the movie "Bennie and June," after a conversation of ours a few days prior, where I had admitted that I'd never seen the movie all the way through. Then he took me out to a nice dinner at the Elephant Bar where we ate healthy meals...  and then indulged in a decadant dessert.

The rest of the night was normal. I had completely relaxed in his presence. Without even knowing it, Tony had finished chasing my storm cloud away. And today, the sun is shining.

 

Comments

[Ronalyn]

I'm glad to hear your storm cloud went away..
When I'm down.. I stare at Kai.. :) LOL.. and wish I was like a dog at times.. everyday is new day for them.. they don't ponder on the past.. they take this very moment and want to make the most of it.. :)
Glad Tony came out and chased that storm away.. kuddos to him :)
Wish we could sit on our bed and chat.. :)